hey yall 🤗
A month or so ago, I mentioned I had a blind mosquito hovering around me…my theory? This bug is unsure if I’m even uhh…edible? Haha you know what I’m sayin lmao
Anywho…
I think it got some glasses….or maaaaybe I did?
You ever have such a deep curiosity about something that you become less interested the more clarity you gain?
Well, I don’t know how, but now the squito and I have fresh prescriptions and it feels like we’re seeing each other clearly finally. And this mf ain’t a mosquito at all…it’s a hybrid love bug🥴which explains the prolonged hovering lmao slight chance it’s a lightning bug but I’m positive now more than ever, it’s definitely not anything that looking to bite me…ever.
Silly, harmless bug…so cute and mysteriously clumsy - floating through my atmosphere…but for what tho? I’ll never squash it, even if I needed to. I like watching it live freely and somehow it feels like it likes to watch me live in the captivity of my unresolved insecurities lmfao lil toxic mf…that’s my assumption of course. I can’t confirm any of the bugs intentions at this moment. I could always inquire but would the answer be useful? And if so, how? Now what? I thought I was fluent in speaking to nature but turns out, i don’t speak bug, specifically and uhh…. Bugs don’t speak…AT ALL. or write😂🙂↔️😜🤭
I’m grateful to be where I am mentally…proud of my composure keeping ahhh considering the opportunity that’s been presented. A chance to explore the jungle, and I can’t. watching it watch me has been fascinating; the invigorating unknown of tomorrow. If it gets close enough for me to really see the species clearly, will it float away anyway? That’s what mosquitoes usually do, unless swatted. The mosquitoes who bite are also lady squitos so that’s interesting 🤔 Do love bugs usually float away or do they hang around? or…am I giving human qualities to something non-human lmao
I hope the bug is the kind that hovers because it enjoys my company and enjoys the bug it can be around me…never worrying about getting crushed or swatted or repelled for buzzing or biting or hovering around my food. I love the outdoors 🥴 and I try to show my love with gifts to the universe but maybe the universe I speak of is so vast, my gifts and actions are…. Lost amongst all of the other gifts.
Maybe I’m being self centered and maybe truly loving the universe would be allowing myself to just keep walking through the forest and trust the bug will be ok, whether I check in or not. I would hate to keep walking tho and find another nice bug but it actually wants me and the buzz matches the bite type shit lmao…whole time, the bug Im daydreaming about wants to float freely. Freely around me, away from me, but never towards me, never with me… Never buzzes in my ear to tell me all that it’s survived thus far. I want my bug to bug me, dammit. Hehehe
And that’s the selfish part. What makes me think bugs don’t have standards and boundaries? And what makes me so sure that if there are standards for insects, that I meet or match the standard anyway…do I even want to?? the nerve of me to expect likeness based on my existence. Ehn…gimme break, wouldja! I’m just a human🤷🏾♀️haha
And dammit I’m ready to talk about something else…so sick of feeling invisible to this mf cuz I know you see me, mosquito…i hope I know?🥹🥲
Would feel better if I found out you never saw me at all, though. Relief that this one sided woo-woo has been all in my head…that would be a huge relief for me and I don’t know how I feel about that.
Anyway, yea. Long story short, I hate bugs now. Even lady bugs. I’m stomping on anything with a thorax all year long. A big stomp, lifting my knee to my forehead to load up the cannon type shit.
Are bugs bugging you? Sounds like a job fooooorrr Deena aka The Raid Parade 🦟
🤣 k, Love ya 🫶🏾
Byyyeeee😁
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