I wish I had the words to say…

​I wish I had the words to say…I do. I wonder if I don’t have the words because I’m not supposed to. 

It’s a curious feeling I have…day in and out, usually all day in between my mandatory thoughts and occasional online shopping. What are you up to? How are you doing, really? And why is that? Can I apologize…should I? Should you? lol I don’t think so…I think we’re just humans and life is interesting and unpredictable. I think that’s what I think. That’s what I think out loud. Inside, it may very well be driving me crazy. Crazy but not insane lol. I genuinely only think about….when this isn’t a safe place to be super open but I wish I had the words to say what’s on my heart. More importantly, I wish I knew for sure my words would be received and welcomed and…reciprocated? Not sure if I want them reciprocated actually but I do want closure. Heavy on that part…