Tea and Cognac

I'm in a pickle... how do I explain this 🤔

I can't...aaaaaand don't have to lmao

I'm trying to change. I really am. 

Isn't it frustrating when you're encouraged to change a natural behavior and then you change and it turns out... the thing you changed is what they liked about you? What about when you love the new you better because you're happier than the previous version of you?

See? A pickle...no big dill, though 😭😭😭

Yes it is actually. Yes tf it is. The biggest damage dill I've ever pickled.

Pause.

Yea I'm just really checked out of the jar...where the pickle is, but inside of the pickle...where the suffocation is.

Peppercorns and mustard seed all in my cracks and crevices, okay? I am deeeep in the pickle pause pause pause haha

And I just wanna be on a sandwich. Like I can't stay in this pickle for the rest of eternity! What am I? A background feature in Hoarders when they crack open the fridge in Sue Ellens front yard? I hope not. I hope I'm in a fresh fourth of July, family reunion jar. Niggas loooove pickles... well, i know THIS one does lmao I'm sure to escape the jar aaaand the pickle if that's the type of jar I'm in. Slowjam in a jar haha can't make this up...except that's a made up name and I'm not literally in a pickle or a jar 🤔 whatever you know what I mean.

I'm trying not to react...it's very difficult to trigger me. I've always been that way. I'm aware that this life I live is technically solo, aside from my children because I grew them. I don't force people to stay around me or change themselves so i feel better. I prefer to be shown what one's natural decisions are and then i adjust accordingly. That's the real you and that's the one that counts to me. I'm not sure if I'm avoiding conflict here or choosing peace. I thought they were synonymous but it turns out, they're not. At all.

This time, my spirit feels at peace. I don't feel like conflict is even worth it in this case. I'm wondering if there's no resolution/same resolution, can't we agree this is just what it is? This could been a email type shit lmao

Let me know wassupp and then I can just do my thizzyyyyy. That's all. No love lost, ever. No hard feelings, really....

💚