Welcome, 2014...Woopty-Doooo! (That didn't have an oz of sarcasm)...

So it's a new year...again. No offense to 2014 but I don't feel like I got an opportunity to soak up 2013 before it was gone! But I suppose that's a sign of getting older...time flying right over your old, liver-spotted, cranium....

Ok, so anyway...My first blog of the year and I find myself speechless... I'm rather disappointed in the changes I've made towards what most consider "personal growth". I was so immature and angry back at my hell-hole job and now that I have a REAL J-O-B...life is full of down-time and running low on uhh...drama I guess. Plus, now that Malcolm and I are engaged in the process of marrying, there's only so much I feel comfortable sharing online because he reads my blog....Hey babe ;)

So this year, because I don't have anything to blog about yet...I'm making it a point to be honest with myself.

I am a procrastinator.

There. I said it...not that everyone couldn't have figured that shit out but anyway...

I don't believe in New Year's Resolutions because I don't know if everyone is on the same page about what a resolution really is. Most people (I am guilty as well maybe) make a resolution and go for it....about a month later they go back to what they did the year before as a treat for how well they were doing this past month or so, then they relapse on whatever it is they were initially trying to change and they find themselves on January first, yet again, making the same resolution. I am not about to front like I'm going to wake up 358 days from now and be 60 lbs lighter and on BRAVO or Oxygen showing my ass for the world to see. It's silly. I started my "resolution" in November and made it a point to watch my portions and ease up on the wine. I love wine...dont you?lol

Speaking of wine...lawwwd I love me some wine. Chile I might have to run to Walmart and stock up on my Chardonnay since everyone will probly be in the salad or granola isle until maybe like mid-February.
(Whoever is nominated to spell February next go-around...let's spell-check that extra "R" outta there, ehn?)

Anyway, because I know that realistically, I'm not going to be 110 lbs in December, my resolution is not to lose weight. And because I fucking love alcohol, I'm not giving up alcohol. And because I love my kids the way they are, there are no parenting "tips" I'd like to try for myself to maybe improve the behavior of my children (can't improve perfection, chile! haha ohhh shit I could't even help but laugh at that...). Instead, I made a list of things I would like to accomplish this year and gave each of them a date of completion on the calendar. For example: Here's my list: (From most important to ehn..just for kicks)

• Replace all 4 tires with brand new ones by April 30
• Sketch at least one thing, once every week (for this one, I set a friendly reminder on my office computer to pop-up every Friday during the time of day when I'm usually the least busy, just in case I found it difficult to accomplish this during the other 6 days of the week)
• Read 50 pages of ANYTHING every day (also have a reminder set up everyday at 2:30 to start reading if I haven't already).
• Get my hair professionally cut on my birthday (For those of you who don't know me too well, I barely ever walk into a salon...I always feel like they're going to fuck up my strictly trained and well-earned curl pattern...plus I can wash my own damn hair for free but I suppose a little maintence won't hurt)
• Shop for clothes off-season for the girls
• Purchase a large calendar by Jan. 1. 2014 (already completed)
• Mark down every bill, the amount, and the due date for one week before the bill is due on the large calendar for the entire year for budgeting purposes (completed)
• Retrieve my credit score with a detailed credit report before Feb.1 (completed...not as bad as I thought either lmao)
• Fix all that shit before September 15 (In progress)
• Be happy (currently happy...)
• Speak up when you don't like how something is going down (working on it...so far, so good i suppose)
• Encourage myself to be greater than what I think I am already (this has been a bit of a struggle, seeing as how I'm already pretty fucking amazing)
• RE-pierce my nose...fuck the haters (I hate that saying but it was the best fit for the circumstances)
• Get my turd tattoo covered with something a little less awkward to explain to others
• Google then-and-now photos of old people with tattoos from when they were 20 lmao (this item is a new addition to the list as of today)
• One word: Amazon
• Fast food eating once a month...only one Friday/month...preferably whichever Friday is closest to the 15th of the month (less bills due mid month so it's affordable).
• Re-dye my hair black...I'm over the whole "ooh Rihanna is light skinned with red hair and it's cute!Maybe I should try it!" thing
• Answer my phone when it rings (sounds strange but trust me...I really never answer my phone...feel like I'm going to get bad news or be stuck listening to someone while I try to manuver every-day-shit on my end of the phone)
• If I cannot instill the habit of answering my phone, I will get rid of the damn thing
• Successfully win a hand of 3-card draw Solitaire without refreshing my deck...at all (it's possible but I have't got it yet)
• Shave my armpits (fuck you and that "ew thats nasty" face you just made lol)
• Interact with other female humans who just so happened to be of silmilar age, although I'm convinced this is not going to be successfully accomplished due to past experiences with "friend accumulation". I literally am as awkward around new people as that description I just gave.
• Don't drink at office parties (This has been a life-long no-no actually. Just like to reitterate and reinforce every other year incase I forget over the course of time. Thank you Awkward Black Girl for making me aware of the dangers of drinking with co workers before I found out the hard way)
• Be thankful for waking up
• Get more rest every night
• Enjoy my man's company, no matter what kind of day I may have had and no matter which/how many mother fuckers piss me off that day.
• If there are any habits that I absolutely can't give up, they have been strictly reduced to once per week and only over the weekend...so I only get wasted Fri-Saturday...no hang-overs at work YAAYY :(
• Buy clothes that are 2 sized too small and only keep one outfir that fits properly so that I'm forced to lose weight because otherwise, I have nothing to wear. (BOSS decision; I know)
• Slap any and every adult who claims to be either
• A: A Bad Bitch
• B: A Real Nigga
• C: About That Life
• D: Foreal-Foreal or
• E: A combination of any of the above listed blasphimous adjectives
• Maintain communication with my sister, and hopefully improve communication with my brother(s)
• Last but not least; infact, maybe the most important of all, discover something new about myself this year.

Last year, I discovered that I too can fly, R. Kelly.

And that concludes my New Year, Same Me list for 2014.

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