someone asked me why i stopped smoking and there are a few reasons...
honestly,it was not becuz of my kids.i never smoked around them or in any place where they would ever go.my smoking ddnt evn effect my parenting really except instead of staying up after i put the girls to sleep,i'd be knocked out with thm.
it wasnt bcuz of skool/work.weed actually helped me focus in class.i was at my peak,typin maybe 3 papers in one night when i was high.
i quit becuz it was hurtin my pockets,bama,and my oldest brother mike.i told my brother i was smokn and for the first time ever,after all the "bad" things i've ever done,this was the first time he ever showed me tht he gave a damn really.i kno my brother loves me to death but he'd never given me any kind of advice until he replied to tht myspace message.i was so shocked like i ddnt evn respond cuz he seriously went off on me and said wat my parent SHOULD have sed wen i told thm i smoked weed.i love my brother...hell i love all of my siblings.esp mike and lizz.theyr like my replacement parents lol.
but umm yea..then after my relationship with lorne was over,i started talking to bama alot more.he's the first person i smoked with actually..and i told him how much i was smokin and he went like dead silent on the phone and was like...all this complainin ur doin about gas and daycare,that 5 bux ur spendin plus tht 50cents,and i kno u cant roll so hell u probly spend a dollar buyin another blunt...thts money ur throwin away for no reason cuz it adds up.after he gave me tht pep talk,i went nmy room and got watever i had left.which was quite a bit....and i thot about sellin it really quick but just my luck,somethin woldve gone terribly rong...i thot about finishing it but then tht wouldve defeated the idea of quiting bcuz i dont believe in tht "one last hoorah" ish cuz it would just make me wanna smoke summore lol.sooo...i flushed it down the toilet. havent bought any since and im proud of myself. :)
i still think about smoking tho...like i quit cold turkey u kno so it is a little weird sometimes wen ppl ask me to come chill with thm cuz my body is like...cummonnn its just one day and u dnt have to get extra high.just enuff to get u rite...but my mind is like bitch plz!haha.so wenever i think about smoking,i draw everything tht ive ever thot about while high just to get it out of my brain and onto something solid...and tht pic up there was drawn by me while i was in my race/gender class...i would smoke before tht class cuz its a lecture type thing and my highness helped me focus and retain information lol.and i couldnt think of wat a mary leaf looked like so i just guesstimated...aaaand i forgot wat a dollar looked like as far as details go so i kinda sketched the shape in there at the top but never put my final touches in cuz my urge to smoke went away haha.