response/follow up from my easter blog comments

thank u Aunt Robin for sharing that with us.ur experience has def changed my opinion.also,thank u to June and Ben as well.
in response to ur comments tho,it's not tht i dont believe in a higher being,and im not saying tht anything is wrong with being a christian evn tho it sounds tht way.i guess im saying,in general, some parts of religion have been interpreted in ways that i dont agree with.wen i was at my lowest point in my life,i did pray.i have nothing against worshiping God or praying.those are actually  some of the few things tht i agree with.and i have nothing against the Bible.i've never read the bible so i have no place to judge the bible or anything in there...i wish tht my opinion could be viewed without being bias but i guess my view of christianity is also bias.are there any other religious views,besides christianity,tht have an opinion on this topic?christianity is not "right" and everything else is not "wrong". i feel tht if u believe in it,its wats right for YOU,not necessarily for everyone else.as accepting as god may be,should a christian also be accepting of others and their different views on religion?not to understand or believe in wat someone else thinks but to accept it and let thm believe in how they feel.there were many times wen i prayed to God and everything got worse and worse.when i stopped focusing on wat religion i was or who to pray to.if anything,i pray to myself,like a pep-talk kind of thing.
from the time i was 5 up until maybe the 7th grade,i was sexually abused by someone who was supposed to be a role model and family member.i prayed through tht whole time and nothing happened until i stopped praying it would stop,got up and handled it on my own.and some may say tht God gave me the courage to speak up but i dont know that and neither do other ppl.and if He did thn thts wonderful but in my mind,i did it becuz i knew wat was goin on was disgusting and i ddnt want it to go on.after that,my "therapist" i was sent to was telling me i was fine,my dad was treating me like i was a liar,i stopped eating and started cutting myself and i started to desperately seek attention from guys just because my body and my mind basically grew up tht way.and without my parents talking to each other or addressing any kind of issues we ever have,nobody noticed i was miserable and no one ever thot "hmm...sex talk would be nice since shes a little confused about wat sex really is supposed to be like according to this religion tht we've raised her to believe in" so i was eager to WILLINGLY give away my semi-virginity bcuz the first time i lost it,it was not by choice.i had sex,got pregnant,went thru hell stopped eating again cuz i thot i was getting fat.after i had my daughter i was verbally abused by strangers and guys thot i was "easy" and let me kno it...i got pregnant again and was on a mission to get an abortion.i went all the way to tampa and was close to going all the way to atl to get an abortion because no one in fl would i went thru highschool known as the pregnant girl.and yes,it is my fault but if someone told me talking to God was wat i needed to avoid all of tht,i'd doubt it...highly.becus i did.every night i did.and it seemed like everyday got worse and worse.i tried goin to church and i got looked at so nastily tht i left early because it was really strange.i had to get talked into getting my child baptized bcuz i ddnt believe that would save her from men,lies,and humans period.i was baptized and i turned out..."unholy".i lost most of my frends tht were "there for me" before i got pregnant except for maybe one.like i cant even tell u how but they just stopped callin or textin.and yes,i have kids but wen ur in a house where no one speaks to each other unless there's company,it gets hard to rely on conversation with children who think "booty" is a funny word as ur outlet for someone to talk to.call me crazy but i was to the point where i would vent to by dog...not my "dawg" but my 'arf!arf!' dog.just because i ddnt need someone to sit there and tell me wat i should do or what i should believe or where i should go or who i should pray to,i needed someone,i living person,to just listen and hear me out and let me vent.yes i can talk to god but i mean...wen i did,it did as much for me as it would if i were talkin to myself...or my dog.my faith,in my opinion, got me nowhere and when i stopped relying on god to get me through anything and just did wat i felt was needed to get stuff done,i did just fine.and some ppl may think i wasnt believing hard enough but i mean,cummon...i put my all into believing in God and i took some advice from someone who told me to put it in god's hands and tht did not work for me.i dont go to church,i dont read the bible,i rarely ever pray,but i know for sure that im a good person and religion does not define me or my actions,i do.i've come a long way and developed so much emotionally and mentally and ive become a strong person without religion on my mind all of the time.and yea,my home seems normal but id think i grew up in somewhat of a broken home.we al knew each other's names and tht everyone was breathing but thts it.my parents are miserably married and stuck in lives tht they dont like,everything is someone else's fault and the children do all the maintenance, dinner is not a family thing,"bonding" is a joke word in the house and happy is even funnier and me wanting us to be a family was like...a breakthrough in comedic history.like religion alone cannot help me get over how i grew up because i see things differently.we've all experienced different losses and different gains.for those who are religious,do u think u would be where u are today,wat uve experienced in life,who u've met,wat u kno,etc would be the same without ur faith?would u have strength and belief in urself enough to get through ur lows without ur belief in God?why or why not.without guidance from the Bible,would u be able to make it to where u are today based on self determination and will?