just an update i guess...

my last blog was another one of my rants i guess so i decided to just leave it up and do an actual,non angry entry lol.i got a few requests/complaints so im answering each of those on a paragraph or more...except the health thing,srry bout tht lol

QUESTION/COMPLAINT 1: how was ur weekend?it couldnt have been that damn bad! how are the babies?blog about happy stuff girlie!

my weekend was... not too bad actually.it helped me take my mind off of most of the stuff that's been weighing me down.Lizzy went to her dad's for the weekend and so it was just me and Tina...we have so much fun wen its just us 2 but i feel a little uncomfortable about how much longer she can go before realizing that its not normal the way her sister goes away for the weekend and she doesn't...i love Lizzy and i love Tina and i really don't have a favorite but its true to say that i spend much more time with Christina alone than i do with the 3 of us...like during the week i see them both for maybe a total of 15 hrs Mon-Fri and those hours are waking up,dropping them off at school and then getting home from work and getting them ready for bed so there's not much time to "bond" and i get so irritated because its hard to be a parent and be kinda young enough to be my daughters sister.Tina's becoming very distant from me lately bcuz shes been spending more time with my mom and I'm sure she may grow out of it but its still kinda difficult to deal with emotionally u kno?but yea...this weekend i made sure we had time for fun.we went shopping and i let her pick out her own clothes/shoes,then we left there and i surprised her wen we showed up at the beach lol.she was freakin out and it was...hilarious lol.it was too cold for the water plus like i didn't plan on going there so she didn't have a bathing suit on but we took our shoes off and walked on the beach then made like a sand castle for the "boyds and vroaches"(birds and roaches) lmao.then on our way back we got ice cream at baskin robins. it was cute lol.i just kinda wish Lizzy could have some time to do stuff like that with us but its all good.its crazy how the majority of my life is based on supporting 2 ppl that i barely spend time with but i guess that's a parent thing...or an early parent thing,rather lol.

QUESTION/COMPLAINT 2:Hows the job?still lovin it and the teachin thing?or r u back in the mall or strippin or wat?haha

ohkay, ive never stripped,dont have the body or rhythm for that ish lol and i work in the mall wen they need me to but its not like a steady thing right now.but umm...yea work has been really difficult for me to deal with.it just seems like this kids are getting worse and worse...anger wise.and its so crazy how they could be ripping each others little feelings apart and tapping each others shoes and then 5 minutes later be the best of frenz lol.but yea...last week was a little hard.i think I'm losing my passion for teaching and i barely even started that ish yet haha.i cant deny that i love teaching but id rather teach cows how to moo sometimes.and as much as i try to fit in at my job,i just cant really feel all the way comfortable and i don't know why.i feel so distant from everyone that i work with actually.not because of anything they've said or done but just because everyday i walk in late and all i can think about is how much money shy of full tuition for the girls am i gonna be...or I'm worried about how much of my check my mom is gonna take to make up for her paying daycare for a week...i feel semi close to maybe 1 person but for the most part, i like to keep to myself bcuz i feel a little out of place.but its weird cuz outside of work,like when we go on like staff dinners or whatever,i feel fine and i don't feel awkward at all..well just a tad but not as much as i do wen we're actually at work...idk.teaching is just...not for me.

QUESTION/COMPLAINT 3:wassup witcha ol man??u still single or wuh?

"ol man..." hate that term cuz i always think of wrinkles and canes and...ew my dad lmao but umm...onto relationships...well right now i dont exactly know what I'm doing with that.i was talking to a few ppl then i went from a few to like 3 and then from 3 to 2 then to 1.5 lol.like idk.i mean if they can hang,kudos for them but I'm not about to string someone along or give them pep talks to be with me or ask questions to figure out y we don't talk anymore bcuz my answer is...it is what it is and its just that simple lol.like I'm so focused on my mess of a juggling act,I'm not really too hype about adding more confusion and uncertainty to my schedule.i am very into this one guy,hes kool u know but my time is so limited,I'm curious as to how this will play out...not so curious as to distract me but curious enough to go "hmm..." after i drive off from chillin with him u know?lol.but yea,a man is a man and theres plenty of them,good,decent,and awful...trust me:iGoogle lol.finding one who pleases me will be impossible bcuz that means id have to actually look for him and id rather just bump into my soul mate in McDonald's while accidentally grabbing his large caramel frappe instead of my medium wen they call ur order out over what seems to be millions of morning "mackers".we'll laugh and he'll think:"wow,nice nose" and ill think:"wow,wish i would've started running for the door before he realized i meant to grab the larger drink...dammit...oh wow,nice schnoz!"...then we'll fall in love and he'll be an awesome father figure/husband/world class frappe sipping beast and ill be similarly awesome but because i have breast,making me automatically superior because i could possibly feed hungry children with a squirt here and there, id really be like 1000 times more awesome but he'd be OK with that of course...and he'd encourage my awesomeness to grow and multiply,not much but maybe 1 more for me and ill be set lol.

QUESTION/COMPLAINT 4: how do u feel?i know stress could bring on serious health issues and u seem a lil tense boo!

...health-wise I'm drug free,gorgeous, full of nothing but water and good cafeteria food,unhealthily stressed and not pregnant or infected/diseased so id say im pretty good for the most part lol.

and thats about it actually...anymore questions?lol
i hope everyones week is amazing and safe...i would wish that it would also be rich but then id have to rob everyone who reads this just in case my wishes brought someone else wealth lol
much love...from my blog to ur brain,
i'm out! :)