Hello beautiful people!!! I have returned haha
My job has been working me day n night like a Jackson but...Still, I Riseeeeee bayyybeeeee lol
Life has been looking up. I'm at peace, my home is happy and healthy, I'm regulating my new dynamics.
I haven't written much in here necessarily but I'm writing for sure...believe you me haha.
I have been posting on my channel like a mad woman though, and I'm just getting started. I want to be super-efficient with my video editing, but I have solution for that, I think. I'm going to get an iPhone. I'm afraid that's the only way I could elevate my shit right now lmao. That's what i'm telling myself to justify this purchase. But really, all my friends are iphoners and they facetime without me...even my kids have iphones lmao think that's where i truly drew the line.
I want a pen pal so badly. Did yall ever do that back in the day? Write letters to another school and they'd write back...at the end of the school year, we'd have a field trip where we got to meet out pen pals...best memories were looking at how another child wrote the letter "D" lol that tickled me. I even would adopt their handwriting for my letter back to them. One pen pal I had in the 4th grade, Katie, I told her a story about how my little brother got attacked by a cat and I couldn't stop laughing while I watched. I told her I felt so disappointed in myself that I couldn't fight the tears of my laughter long enough to help him. He got scratched up pretty good but what a good story. She sent me back a story about how her brother eats her barbie shoes...long story short, she ain't even have a brother. I was pissed when I found out...like I had revealed some sort of sacred Big Sister lore to an imposter. My heart was crushed so i threw all her letters away on or way back to the bus. I regret throwing them away. It would've been cool to reflect on what I thought was important as a 4th grader, but yea...fuck her lmao
I'd love a pen pal as an adult but not one who's incarcerated. Not discriminatory reasons necessarily but more of an alignment conflict. My intentions are to probably never exchange anything beyond the gift of handwriting and story sharing...I don't want to meet your mother or call your homeboy's niece on 3 way to hear a new mixtape they recorded in the toilet last Thursday. Strictly a pal with the pen.
Of course, if it progresses into a friendship...or palship? that would be cool but I just wanna write and I want someone else to read it who doesn't know me and wont judge me. Kinda like what I do on here, but I know there's a receiver of my expression lol. Which makes me question, if I'm expressing, does it need to be received? or do I express to release? I think sometimes I'm a messenger, but most times I'm just releasing some shit haha. Creative energy with no true form or direction....YET.
how have yall been? I also want to get my finances in order. I've been out here floating but I'm tryna coat...cruise...relax and tap. not check my balance and move this over there and that over here in the line before I get to the register or as they ring up my total. I just wanna be more in control and organized.
I'm just realizing the power I have to mold and create my future from this point forward. I'm a little nervous but like in a great way...ehn...i think haha
anyway, thanks for reading and let me know if you wanna be my penpal. real inquiries only
You can miss me with the mf shenanigans, my nigga. 😁
🍀Deena
No comments:
Post a Comment