I forgot how much I loved writing every day. I didn't forget, I just gained more tasks in my day and this got scooted off the plate. BUT, I like to put my greens on top of my rice if i run out of room...or I like my cornbread on top of my sweet potatoes...so this is my, putting my writing on top of my sleeping lmfao.
Ya know...I have a lot on my mind. It's not hard for me to keep it to myself, it involves others so i try to be respectful that everyone doesn't deserve or appreciate their business being openly shared with faceless strangers...Me? I never cared. I am who I am and what is meant for me will find me and what is not meant for me will have a difficult time reaching me.
MESSAGE.
Yuh.
I went to a comedy show the other day. Solo. So much fun, everything was hilarious. I was surprised because it was a bunch of local comedians. Very impressed/entertained.
Remember how I was saying October is always sad for me? I had to take a deeper dive into that and I'm here to let you know, it's all pure coincidence that all of my life altering revelations over the past few years have happened in October.
Also, weird but true...gaaahhh i cant even tell yall about the noun that's building skyrise condos in my brain these days...rent free and fully furniisshheeddd 😭
Basically, I realized that I get put as number 2 by people who I wouldn't ever do that to. I'm realizing that I'm only getting this second-place treatment because I need stronger boundaries. I'm too understanding and forgiving and empathetic. I forgive weird shit because I try to be accepting and understanding that we're all people and people have feelings and feelings change; habits don't change though. Anyway, I let shit slide and as a result of the sliding, i get upset with people for treating me (or disregarding me) in the way that I established was okay with me to begin with...and i get mad because I'm really actually upsetting myself and that person probably has no clue or doesn't gaf about what I'm even doing or how my day is going lmao...even though it's not ok, I'm just trying to be patient and understanding and not nag or rush anyone to...fucking remember me. I'm not doing that anymore...it's miserable and one-sided and really a waste of wonder and it's rude. It always happens to us nice folks. I'm not even nice foreal, that's what pisses me off lol Niggas don't even recognize the grace i be slangin....I was nice to you when I shouldn't have been...spared you and you don't even appreciate the level of forgiveness and pity I have for you. No clue.
But anyway, I don't hate it, the second-place thing. However, I do think I'd just rather be alone lmao
I will love myself for sure...judge but accept, listen and understand, forgive and probably forget if necessary to do so lol
I'm not chasing anybody out here, not even my dog if she gets off the leash. You wanna be in the streets bitch, go on. And look both ways, mutha shutchomouuuuf 😂
I do too much and give too freely to be...hmm maybe not. maybe that's the problem. yes, it is. I established that earlier, that's right...damn. welp!? lol
Gonna let my mean side show. Got to. I gotta do it 🥹😈
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