Pookies and Pookettes

 Hey yall...

I decluttered like i said i was...getting ready for a big change type shit.

I found some journals of mine that I never finished, which i love. I enjoy typing and subliminally confessing my messy ass life to yall but my first love, my true love is writing. Pen to paper...omg. Could write for days instead of talking for real. I write like i talk anyway so it's bout the same lol. You may get more out of me with pen to paper. Pouring my lil 5 ft heart out through the fountain pen, nigga hehe

Aint shit funny tho...not laughing much these days. Not a real belly laugh from the heart..well, belly and heart lmao. All of my laughs are in digital currency and awkward giggles. Also found relief in the fact that if you pretend to laugh hard enough, people think you're laughing until you cried but really you're just letting that shit off in their face so your urge to explode doesn't go to waste/get supressed further.

That's where my pen to paper comes into play. It gets real in there mwhahahaaa MMMMoojooJOJO vibes.

I just feel like i owe it to the world to be a positive person. Just doing my part while hating it. For free lol

I'm hoping I'm paid in good energy and positive spaces with beautiful people who see the good within me and also...in themselves. I wanna be surrounded by other people who are paranoid to admit they have feelings that are too heavy to express with an emoji.

But again...we're reminding ourselves..

All is well, everything is working out for my highest good and out of this situation, this so called "problem", only good will come and I am safe.

And also...another thing:

I genuinely want your life to unfold in the way it's meant to - even if the part I played developed into me loving you from afar. I'll practice wishing the best from a distance and allow life to bring to me what belongs. I don't need to remind others how to handle me or stay in an environment that doesn't welcome me the way I am. To force comfort is to kill joy and I'll be damned if I let anyone take my joy.

Whatever you're experiencing, I hope all things work out for your best interest. Today, tomorrow, and every day that follows. Really do wish you all the best on every part of what makes you whole...with or without me in the mix.

Eternal love...sigh...what a drag. I know it's heavy for some of yall so I'll be wishing the best for you too but from a distance...open arms tho, whenever you're ready to be a real actual human-driven person.

I hate the phrase soft girl era. It's the most cringe trend I've seen in a while...so is the word cringe lmao but I get the soft-girly vibe tho. It looks nice asl right now, I aint eeen gon lie to ya.