Jan 4 Yall

 I inspire myself sometimes and let me tell you, when I do, it's a sight to see. 

We're all like that really. Once you're motivated and disciplined, you really can amaze yourself. You'll wake up and look in the mirror at different person! I love it, I love me. And I think that's ok, I'm not vain but I am hyper-aware of who I am and what i like about myself because they're qualities that i look for in my friendships and relationships...

Honest, loyal, optimistic but ready to pivot if necessary. 

I'm creative and love to express that. That's my favorite part...showing people they dont fucking know me like that fr lmao. 

I admire my strength and my courage. I didn't always have any of these traits or qualities. Looking back at who I was and who I am today makes me proud af. Super de-duper proud of being Me.

Being a momma at 15 played a large role in my growth and development. I started to look at the world with new eyes and wanted to show my daughters what healthy behaviors, communication and expectations look like so hopefully their life's options wouldn't lead them to 2 teen pregnancies, homelessness and addiction. 

I do understand that those things are likely to happen to anyone at any point in our lives just as likely as someone is to succeed. Motherhood hits different when you're 15 vs 30 for sure. 

Between you and I, I get an overwhelming rush of tears when I thank God for my days and nights. Not often but some days, when I really show tf out and impress myself, the wave is purely a cry of gratitude and awe that life is for real what you dream it to be. 

I understand if you don't take my word for it and my theory may be a little silly and unbelievable to some but it's science. It's the math of decision making. When I started making decisions that would benefit the well-being of my pieces (my children first), I learned how to love and treat myself...that's how my selfishness melted into all these other wonderful traits. 

If it wasn't for my poor decisions in boys back then, who knows what life would have been like. i don't believe there was any greater journey than the one I've been living through. I have confidence in that.

I admire myself because there's no one on this earth who knows what it takes to get it out of whatever hole I dug for myself.

Who inspires you most? What qualities do they have that you admire?

Personally, I think it's totally fine if it's yourself...who's going to believe in you more than YOU? 

Hoolllaaaa

💚deena