So, hello...again lol It's been a
little over a year since we caught up last but I've lost some weight, boosted my
credit score, created a source of passive income for my girls, and I've also had
the absolute best year ever.
This is not an ode to 2021 by the way...just
realized how great of a year I had while reflecting on what key pointers I
wanted to fill you in on lol.
I also have been growing my youtube family! It's
been so beautiful and positive.
"WHAT'S YOUR YOUTUBE CHANNEL ABOUT?" you
ask...welp i dont fuckin know.
It's about me I suppose...in a nut shell.
But
again, I have no clue how to describe that lol
If I had to choose 3 words to
describe my channel it would be...
- 1- Entertaining
- 2- Random
- 3- Positivity
Now...slap those things together and THAT is what my channel is about...wow.
that was easy lol and super accurate haha!
Alrite so there are so many things I want to pour out of my brain but I don't know
where to begin...lets start with what's most pressing on my mind?
Family
I love
my family. I have been chosen by the universe to be the glue for my family and
let me tell ya, it's a tough task to accept. Especially when people get
remarried and shit. I'm just being honest...it's hella awkward. My parents fell
victim to the "Big D" (lmfao I meant divorce btw) and since, my dad remarried
almost immediately and my mom is still thuggin' it on her own out here. Which, ya
know, to each their own...I love them both dearly. They're each my best friend
in their own right? I still go to my mom for life advice and my dad for
financial advice. They're still the perfect team for me although they're
no longer a team together ya know?
And if you've been reading for a
while...you know very well about my vibes towards my dad's "new family"...It's
not my preferred set up but whatcha gonna do? That's my dad's happiness and it
is what it is. All I can do is respect him by being on my best behavior,
regardless if I'm uncomfortable and keep it moving.
Well, recently I have
another fav family member in the same boat. Her name is Felecia. I absolutely
love Felecia...I absolutely loved Quinton (he was my in law). Now, why y'all
gotta go changing on me? I'm not fond of meeting new people at this stage of my
life. I know I'm only 30 but I believe I've met and gotten to know all the close
family that I need to for now...but anyway, what I was about to say was...
I was
recently introduced to Felecia's new addition top the family, Joe...and I don't
know how I feel about it. I feel like it's too soon for me to get to know Joe.
In fact, it was so awkward that I started to think...
🤔"Hmmm...Yea, I'm not
doing this shit ever again."
I'm not meeting anyone else new. When you show up
to my house next time, show up with the same muhfukkas you had last time. No
surprises or newness aloud or welcomed. It's stressful for me. I haven't liked 2
major characteristics of this person since the day I found out about them: Their
morals and their judgement. Unfortunately for them, I knew about THOSE before I
actually knew THEM. Ya following me?
So now, years have passed and I haven't met
this guy (until recently) so all my thoughts have been quite non-optimistic
about this character and now I'm meeting him...eghh. So awkward. I don't know how
to tell Felicia ion like it. I don't want to hurt her feelings...but I don't
like this. Not necessarily HIM but IT...like the circumstance.
I missed having
Quinton there...(Quinton is the ex of Felecia)
Him and my husband are besties,
my kids were asking where he was and I had to sit them down like soo...what had
happened was...*cringecringecringe*🤢
Yea, uncomfortable af. I have an awful
time balancing the value and priorities of my feelings with those of others. I'm
a tough cookie. However...I am not as tough in "family glue" form as I am in cookie form
lmao.
So when everyone around me is telling me to voice the discomfort on behalf
of us all...Ionno how.
I don't want Felecia to feel uncomfortable but at the
same time...Felecia never asked what made ME comfortable. So now I've gotta say
something before the next holiday comes up so she's not planning to bring Joe
again...'Cause laaawd🤦🏾♀️
Arite NEXT topic!
Nah jk... I won't spill too many beans but foreal tho... I could say more but lucky for you guys, I try my best to
express myself as honestly as possible without being nasty or negative towards
others because after all, I'm just venting. Not trying to call people out on
front street. I could though...I have before lol but I have to ask...Is anybody
out there even reading this?
Juuust in case 🤐....lmao
So yea, next
topic...
Family Functions/Holiday Gatherings: I aint doin it.
Over the last few
years I've stressed myself out to be on time and have a dish and be nice in
front of people who I don't really want to be around. The vibe is off. I feel
like an outsider...outnumbered lol plus the music is usually inappropriate for
my kids to be listening to. I love me some Meg and Saweetie...even some Cardi and
Nikki...but absolutely none of these ladies have any business galloping through
the ears of my 6 year old through the most epic speaker system known to man.
I also recently stopped drinking and now I realize...I can't have sober fun with
them...that's a problem.
I don't really like anything about my new family...and
recently I found out my actual family member was the "guiding light and savior"
to these niggas...I've never rolled my eyes so hard! I had to take my glasses
off and look in the mirror with a flash light to find where they rolled off to.
I
commend any man who steps up and raises the children of the woman he loves...IF
he had that same energy with/towards his own child/ren. That's where I'm leaving
that. Keep in mind, I could most definitely be talking out of my ass right now.
I don't know first-hand information about the circumstances because it's not my
relationship...it's all based on hear-say mixed with some personal feelings and
a pinch of Lawry's seasoning salt.
But I said what I said based on what
information I have received plus info that I've gathered on my own.
I guess the
moral of this vent is:
Sometimes family will do things that will make you
question who you thought they were. They will disappoint you, they will do or
say things that shock and surprise you. Try your best to accept them as you
would want to be accepted...but the new people? Fuck them and they feelings🤣
I'm playin lmao...That's how I feel but I'm not advising you to feel the
same way. Some step moms are cool af. Some blended families are more functional
than the automated toilets at the movies. But as for me and my situation...🤷🏾♀️
Okey dokey, see ya next time!🍄
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