I actually don't know.
I'm not sure if I don't want to know or if I'm hoping my cluelessness will help ease some anxiety...
I did my blood work on Monday. They tell you your gender by your blood now. So interesting and creepy and beautiful...like rotting fruit.
But anyway, Jumbo finally told his mom that we're expecting another baby. I'm very excited that she knows because she's a grandma. Other than the parents, Grandparents should get first dibs on info like that, I think. My father in law knew first but he's a man. No one gets excited like a woman whose carried life before (I think). I mean, I don't have any grands yet so I really don't know what that feels like actually but in my mind when I pictured her receiving the news, I think she probably had a subtle, warm, granny grin...with a small tear of joy gracefully streaming down her cheek.
When I told my mom we were expecting, she was on my couch and I was curled in a ball on my living room floor vomiting and shitting everywhere. My mom just said "Oh!...Ok, congratulations"...which also translated in my mind to a subtle, warm, granny grin...with a small tear of joy gracefully streaming down her cheek. It was beautiful 😖
On another note, writing and reading have really been a saving grace in all of this. My stress levels have been decreasing gradually and I'm more comfortable with the changes my body is going through. For starters, my boobs are growing naturally, just as I manifested lmao! Also, I feel the baby moving around for sure, it's not gas this time. I was looking at the ultrasound this morning and this is the first baby I had that smiled at me during such an invasive photoshoot. All my babies have been happy ones though. Zola was a happy baby despite her cranky facial expressions, Tina was laughing the second she hit the air and Lizzy was a sleepy, peaceful baby. This one's got spunk though. I can see it! Oh I'm so very excited to meet it and feed it. I'm excited to try to feed my baby again.
Funny, although I cringe when people say "Pregnancy is so beautiful!"...they're right. They're so right.
I'm not sure if I don't want to know or if I'm hoping my cluelessness will help ease some anxiety...
I did my blood work on Monday. They tell you your gender by your blood now. So interesting and creepy and beautiful...like rotting fruit.
But anyway, Jumbo finally told his mom that we're expecting another baby. I'm very excited that she knows because she's a grandma. Other than the parents, Grandparents should get first dibs on info like that, I think. My father in law knew first but he's a man. No one gets excited like a woman whose carried life before (I think). I mean, I don't have any grands yet so I really don't know what that feels like actually but in my mind when I pictured her receiving the news, I think she probably had a subtle, warm, granny grin...with a small tear of joy gracefully streaming down her cheek.
When I told my mom we were expecting, she was on my couch and I was curled in a ball on my living room floor vomiting and shitting everywhere. My mom just said "Oh!...Ok, congratulations"...which also translated in my mind to a subtle, warm, granny grin...with a small tear of joy gracefully streaming down her cheek. It was beautiful 😖
On another note, writing and reading have really been a saving grace in all of this. My stress levels have been decreasing gradually and I'm more comfortable with the changes my body is going through. For starters, my boobs are growing naturally, just as I manifested lmao! Also, I feel the baby moving around for sure, it's not gas this time. I was looking at the ultrasound this morning and this is the first baby I had that smiled at me during such an invasive photoshoot. All my babies have been happy ones though. Zola was a happy baby despite her cranky facial expressions, Tina was laughing the second she hit the air and Lizzy was a sleepy, peaceful baby. This one's got spunk though. I can see it! Oh I'm so very excited to meet it and feed it. I'm excited to try to feed my baby again.
Funny, although I cringe when people say "Pregnancy is so beautiful!"...they're right. They're so right.
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