I was late as fuck
i was pissed for approx. 3 hours because I was late as fuck
I'm in love
...I'm in love with a clown (named Malcolm)
I have to wear steel-toe boots to work
6 months ago, I had cute feet
Boots are not for bitches with cute feet
My feet hurt
And probably stink now
I couldn't find a pair of socks this morning
I'm wearing my 7 yr old's socks
My socks are not matching
I hve no couch
Fuck a couch
I have state farm car insurance
That bitch IS NOT my neighbor
I robbed my mother yesterday of 4 great books
I read now
YAAAY haha
Sometimes I wear the same pants for the whole week by choice
Sometimes I wear the same pants for the whole week because I'm late and don't have time to coordinate with a new pai of pants
Sometimes I wear the same pants for the whole week to see if any rumors start to cojure about how I wear the same pants everyday
All the time, I wear the same pants, though...just for different reasons lmao
That's gross (this is not a fact)
I don't smell weird though so no one can ever really be sure if I'm wearing the same pants (this is both an opinion with a dash of wishful thinking)
My commute is ridiculously complicated by choice
I have a ninja
I hate first floor apartments
I hate cooking
I cook rather well though
I make a bomb ass red velvet cake
I make the cake and icing both from scratch
My granny taught me that
I have dreams sometimes that I'm on TV
I love those dreams
Almost as much as I love wine
I hate Takka Vodka
I hate any type of catchy rhyming name that is associated with something meant to be consumed
Usually companies with the catchier slogan has the shittier product
I still am overwhelmed with joy when I realize how my cousins and I are old enough to take shots together
Money is not the root of evil
Evile is the root of money (Marinate on those)
My mother loves Toni Morrison
That lady is much too deep for my semi-smooth brain tissue
I'm writing a book-long poem
The title is "I Wish A Bitch Would"
It's an awesome poem actually
I can't use the restroom unless it's completely dark and silent because I am an astronaught ninja vampire who only feels most comfortable when surrounded by nothing but space and time
I have trouble sleeping some nights
My neighbors in the hood were noisy
My neighbors in 'burbs are still fucking noisy
I'm actually nervous about keeping my job only because it feels too good to be true
My boss and co-workers are like the dream team of office staff...so far
I feel awkward around my family now
I feel uncomfortable around my parents' new families/lives
I see my parents as strangers/acquaintances/close friends, but not parents
I'm nervous my children will be disconnectetd from me when they get older
I have anxiety attacks that are, oddly enough, only cured by watching Bad Girl's Club or some sort of murder investigation documentary
I used to want to save animals
I can't stand the thought of having a live animal cohabitating with me
I feel like I'm too good to be around some people (hey, just keepin it one hunnnaaa haha)
I was obsessed with my hair for a short instance of my life
That was the most stressful, confusing, youtube consumed portion of my life to date
I'm a little sick of the natural hair movement and everyone being in aw of some nappy mess I kinda wrangled through this morning out of frustration
I refuse to get weave because none of my coworkers would understand and I'm sure I'd be interrogated on the cost, process, the feel, why I did it, blah blah blah
I often forget how old I am
I gave the lady at the DMV a high-five when she gave me my 21+ license like a loser would do
I hate Jacksonville
I'm scared to be too far away and be unfamiliar with everything
Sometimes I forget to brush my teeth so i keep an extra tooth brush and tooth paste at work in my hidden compartment of my desk
I weight 148 now (last time I did this, I was at 168 or something)
I love my smile
My smile is probly better than yours (this is an opinion)
I'm reading Suze Orman's book on the recommendation of my future mother-in-law
Suze Orman is my main bitch now
I can't see at night
I killed someone's pet cat about a month ago but was too emabarrassed to tell the lil girl I ran over her beloved flea-ridden beast
Easy come, easy go
It's 4:42PM
i was pissed for approx. 3 hours because I was late as fuck
I'm in love
...I'm in love with a clown (named Malcolm)
I have to wear steel-toe boots to work
6 months ago, I had cute feet
Boots are not for bitches with cute feet
My feet hurt
And probably stink now
I couldn't find a pair of socks this morning
I'm wearing my 7 yr old's socks
My socks are not matching
I hve no couch
Fuck a couch
I have state farm car insurance
That bitch IS NOT my neighbor
I robbed my mother yesterday of 4 great books
I read now
YAAAY haha
Sometimes I wear the same pants for the whole week by choice
Sometimes I wear the same pants for the whole week because I'm late and don't have time to coordinate with a new pai of pants
Sometimes I wear the same pants for the whole week to see if any rumors start to cojure about how I wear the same pants everyday
All the time, I wear the same pants, though...just for different reasons lmao
That's gross (this is not a fact)
I don't smell weird though so no one can ever really be sure if I'm wearing the same pants (this is both an opinion with a dash of wishful thinking)
My commute is ridiculously complicated by choice
I have a ninja
I hate first floor apartments
I hate cooking
I cook rather well though
I make a bomb ass red velvet cake
I make the cake and icing both from scratch
My granny taught me that
I have dreams sometimes that I'm on TV
I love those dreams
Almost as much as I love wine
I hate Takka Vodka
I hate any type of catchy rhyming name that is associated with something meant to be consumed
Usually companies with the catchier slogan has the shittier product
I still am overwhelmed with joy when I realize how my cousins and I are old enough to take shots together
Money is not the root of evil
Evile is the root of money (Marinate on those)
My mother loves Toni Morrison
That lady is much too deep for my semi-smooth brain tissue
I'm writing a book-long poem
The title is "I Wish A Bitch Would"
It's an awesome poem actually
I can't use the restroom unless it's completely dark and silent because I am an astronaught ninja vampire who only feels most comfortable when surrounded by nothing but space and time
I have trouble sleeping some nights
My neighbors in the hood were noisy
My neighbors in 'burbs are still fucking noisy
I'm actually nervous about keeping my job only because it feels too good to be true
My boss and co-workers are like the dream team of office staff...so far
I feel awkward around my family now
I feel uncomfortable around my parents' new families/lives
I see my parents as strangers/acquaintances/close friends, but not parents
I'm nervous my children will be disconnectetd from me when they get older
I have anxiety attacks that are, oddly enough, only cured by watching Bad Girl's Club or some sort of murder investigation documentary
I used to want to save animals
I can't stand the thought of having a live animal cohabitating with me
I feel like I'm too good to be around some people (hey, just keepin it one hunnnaaa haha)
I was obsessed with my hair for a short instance of my life
That was the most stressful, confusing, youtube consumed portion of my life to date
I'm a little sick of the natural hair movement and everyone being in aw of some nappy mess I kinda wrangled through this morning out of frustration
I refuse to get weave because none of my coworkers would understand and I'm sure I'd be interrogated on the cost, process, the feel, why I did it, blah blah blah
I often forget how old I am
I gave the lady at the DMV a high-five when she gave me my 21+ license like a loser would do
I hate Jacksonville
I'm scared to be too far away and be unfamiliar with everything
Sometimes I forget to brush my teeth so i keep an extra tooth brush and tooth paste at work in my hidden compartment of my desk
I weight 148 now (last time I did this, I was at 168 or something)
I love my smile
My smile is probly better than yours (this is an opinion)
I'm reading Suze Orman's book on the recommendation of my future mother-in-law
Suze Orman is my main bitch now
I can't see at night
I killed someone's pet cat about a month ago but was too emabarrassed to tell the lil girl I ran over her beloved flea-ridden beast
Easy come, easy go
It's 4:42PM
No comments:
Post a Comment