Another Monday Afternoon

So today I’m supposed to be at my desk. My boss is in Trinidad for 2 weeks and my co-worker is having some sort of surgical procedure today….and it’s Monday. What are the odds right? So my day was actually going quite peacefully and next thing I know, its 1:00 and I notice an urgent request to report to our other office location…I was completely anti-stoked at this point because in my office, I had a cable television all to myself, silence, control over the thermostat, perfect secretarial paradise. So I stare at the email for about 3 minutes and decide to respond via email instead of speedily reporting to the assigned area. After all, I had just punched out for lunch and was about 4 scoops into my cheesy broccoli and rice… definitely had me confused with someone else to think I was going to risk going over or under my lunch time because once you punch out and back in, your last punch is the closing punch. I didn’t want to over-punch myself! Why didn’t they explain this to me prior to 11:30 via email on a Monday morning…we were all aware that I would be there alone. Maybe they realized I wouldn’t do shit over there for 8 hours and wanted to monitor my performance… Well they were correct. I was caught and had no excuse not to come over to the main office. So by the time I close up everything and head over to the other location, my lunch break only has about 2.5 minutes left and the lady in charge of the punch-in system is sitting right next to me now, totally ruining my plans to punch back in and continue my lunch at a more reasonable, leisurely pace. All is well though, or so I thought. After I almost choke on a throat full of cold ready rice and cheesy broccoli chunks, I punch back in and chill for a good 4 minutes, just enough time for my body to adjust to the AC, and then my phone rings. “Hello…?” and it’s my supervisor’s assistant calling to make sure I put a note on the door. Now, naturally I thought to lie and say “Umm, duh! Why wouldn’t I have put a note up there?” but something told me that they might very well be standing at the door of my office, looking angrily at a noteless door. I came clean and admitted that I, in fact, did not put a note on the door. But in my defense, I was quick to mention that I did bring along the office phone and left our office number on the door…that wasn’t enough though. I drive all the way back to my office and park my car as close to the fence as possible. At this point, its 2:00 and the heat is blazingly disgusting and screaming please fuck your life and everything around it, including your $25.00 bottle of MAC blemish remover that’s melting off of your mushy, shiny, expensive face. I go into the office to write a 6 worded note and leave with a whole page describing in detail where else to get tested, what they can get tested for, the number to that office, have a wonderful Monday, I couldn’t find my tape so I used tacks from my cork board but don’t fret, because its Monday!...yea it was definitely a classic, top-notch, award winning Administrative Assistant Out of the Office notice…and then as I’m reading over the thing, I notice that I totally fucked up the address. It was the wrong street and I’m not quite sure how that happened but for now, I’ll blame it on a rushed lunch and an intolerable heat wave? So anyway I end up rewriting the thing and locking up, left the revised note on my desk like a doof, unlocked the office, realized how many tack holes I had violently shoved into our front door, decided to just search to high heavens for some tape, finally found some tape, relocked the office door and headed on my way back to the main office location. And here I am, bored with no cable television, no control over the thermostat, limited internet browsing, a broken nail (which really has nothing to do with my Monday at all except it’s becoming extremely uncomfortable to type with every chip).