January 11th

 T-ball season starts today...

I'm so excited to meet my new teams and get back coaching. I feel so fulfilled watching those babies play ball like trash on day one and by the end of the season, they're semi pro haha It's a very rewarding experience and I'm grateful the universe put me in alignment for this opportunity. I love to teach, always have. Fun fact...i went to UNF for elementary ed. Went to my first day of OTJ training and my spirit said fuck this. I mean like immediately. I just think maybe that wasn't the space for the kind of teaching i was meant to do. The field though? OMG I love it so so much. The parents are great, the kids are great, I only have them for an hr vs 8hrs...and the parent can SEE the baby acting crazy without any confusion lmao but it was dealing with the parents that probably turned me away from the classroom...

Coaching + college + work + life = Stress

How do you respond to stress? What could you do differently to manage it better?

I'd like to say I've mastered responding to stress rather well in a healthy way. But I do not. When I'm stressed I tend to crawl into the deepest darkest depths of my thoughts. I usually internalize my feelings of stress or feeling overwhelmed...sometimes the person i would vent to is the person stressing me lmao. I want to get better at managing that. It's not fair to myself or anyone else.

I may not respond well but I hide stress like a ninja magician. 

Does that count for something?

Does that depend on who's counting though? If I'm the one counting, yea it def counts because hiding stress takes true skill, dedication, and is a dying craft. These days, people feel validated sharing their stress...nope. You'll never know I'm stressed, especially if you're the reason lol. Can't let them see a G sweat ya know?

I usually bottle up my stress and pray I can stretch it out. Sometimes everything builds up, I'm not that friend that calls you to vent. I find venting dangerous and not productive really...because I'm all about productiveness all of a sudden lmao. 

Once it gets built up nice and tense, my response to stress is usually one of 2 extremes - 

1. Quietly screaming followed up with a good cry session until my eyes are throbbing and my skin glows (those are the best cry sessions fr) or...

2. I'm plotting to destroy the peace of whatever/whoever has disrupted mine. I graceful crash out that's too good not to watch type shit.

I've always wondered if it's a Gemini thing, a generational thing or am I unstable and need more even balance of stress/relief? My conclusion is that it's a healthy combination of all of the above.

Pray that my toes don't freeze off while I train future champions today...Please lol.

💚deena