You find out that you will die in 5 yrs or less. How did you find this out? What would you do in those 5 years?

 Day 2: 

You find out that you will die in 5 yrs or less. How did you find this out? What would you do in those 5 years?

Well, I'd just like to say I'm not a fan of pretending to die or pretending to plan/think/prepare for death. bad juju 101 if ya ask me...but you probably didn't ask me that so moving on...

5 years ago on this very day, I was closing up the store. My hands were full of left-over food that would've otherwise gone to waste. As I approached Mimi (AKA my busted Honda civic), I heard a small pitter-patter behind me. I paid it no mind; raccoons are always on the prowl out here. I start to unload my abundant arms into Mimi's trunk and my keys slip from my semi-tight clutch. No big deal, right? Wrong. That fuzzy little son of a raccoon snagged my keys before I could get to them and scurried into the brush behind the dumpsters. I had to get them back so I chased that hoe. I made sure to snag some snacks to bribe him and I hit the woods..in the dark...sprinting at top speed like a dinosaur was after me.

Whilst I sprinted at my toppest of speeds in the dark woods, I eventually realized I'd never find that raccoon. I paused for a snack and who pops up? Greedy ass raccoon...who needs a name for this story. We'll call him Jimmy. Jimmy holds my keys in the air with one hand. Jimmy knows why I'm there. A black lady in the woods after dark? Yea, Jimmy knows EXACTLY what I'm looking for, and it's not a good time. Smart lil guy, that Jimmy. 

Anyway, he tilts his head to the side and says with his voice, "Do I have your attention?" 

"OH LAWD JESUS. NOT NOW, PLEASE!?"

Over dramatic? Not at all...I knew this was the end for me. This particular moment included my absolute worst fears all at the same time. This was no coincidence, it was destiny. A talking raccoon? The woods? The dark? Can't find my keys?? oh hell nawl! This is the time in the movie where you lean forward and yell "Ruuuun BiTch! What is you dooooin!!!" but what you may not consider while watching this movie, I knew the assignment and I wanted to take off running, I truly did. Unfortunately, I exerted all my life-saving speed looking for that damn Jimmy in the woods. I had a quick conversation of reason with myself and came to the ultimate conclusion: Fuck the keys.

"Hold on girl! You need your keys, right? I was sent to get your attention and deliver a message...from the other side." says Jimmy.

"Other sydawuh?" I jumbled back, grasping for my keys (and my lung capacity at this point).

Jimmy and I proceed to get to know one another as I regain my breath control. He's a father of 16, been a pimp for about 2 years but took his career more seriously about 6 months ago and now he's hitting licks for some man up stairs he aint never met foreal but he gets money so hes not complaining. Loves his second baby mama to death but she lazy tho. Finally, after about an hour and 4 party size bags of Sweet and Spicy Doritos he delivers my message: I had 5 years left. 

I choked so hard on that Dorito I swore Jimmy was gon say "Sike! It's tonight bitch!" but he reached his lil nasty hand down my throat and dislodged that dangerously delicious chip...and ate it. I know, I know. I was a little grossed out myself, but I was alive so its whateva.

I shook Jimmy's little crusty black hand, thanked him and let him know he was one fast mother-shutyomouth. 

With fresh lungs and a tinch of nausea, I jetted for Mimi the Honda and literally never looked back.

Here I am on year 4, day 364, reminiscing on the most beautiful, successful, productive 5 years of my life.