I’ve been anticipating my discharge from the housing assistance program. I can’t imagine how high I would’ve been right at this very moment without these people but I’ve come to the conclusion that my sobriety doesn’t need to be obsessively monitored or charted. I got this under control…even found an anti-pot best friend…this kid refuses to even smell its glorious aroma, so I know I'm good. Ahhh yes, good and clean…and happy.? I think. I’m really not sure how to feel lol. Lord knows my inner demons are about as jolly as jimmy waiting for the last school bell of the year to ring and release him into the world with no rules and schedules… I’ve been prepping myself for antifailurism (that’s a keeper; just added it to my word doc dictionary haha). I’ve taken advantage of the sober mind and body that I've obtained over the months and came up with a few things to keep me occupied so I won’t revert to my hell-ridden self. Normally when I used to get high, I’d have a lot of cash and a whoooole lot of time; surprisingly enough, not too much stress though…unless I was too inebriated to realize I was stressed out, hence my guilty pleasurable indulgence. Right, that makes sense now. Gotta love a sober brain, ehn? So anyway instead blowing the extra 200 on shrubbery, after I pay all my bills I’ll hide the money somewhere quaint and subtle…in the heat of the moment, this should be the LAST place I look for funds so supply my high…but then again, what if I really need that money and never find it, and how will I add more money to it form my next check if I purposely forget where I put it?? Ain’t that some shit…just totally bashed my idea into the depths of “I didn’t like that idea anyway”…even though I truly believed I had a winner on that one. Ok so, plan B? Plan B was to umm…well if that didn’t work out then I was going to… damn. I really loved that idea; if not more, then almost more than I love the herb in question. Maybe I do need the program? Lmao!! That was a good one. Ok so plan B will have to be some sort of budget or hobby that I would be required to be dedicated to. I like to paint…but I paint best when I’m high so that’s no keeper either. I’ve been working out a lot lately. I guess that’s what I’ll do: work out. But then I’ll have to stop smoking blacks! Hmm, is it worth it? What the hell…2 well thought out ideas down in 10 minutes. Ok Plan C’s definitely going to be a winner. Third time is usually quite charming, or at least that’s what they say on TV, especially reality shows that feature money hungry, marriage addicts. (Cough, cough real housewives/ [insert sport here] wives) but I digress…I think I’ve got it. I’ll just remove any plugs from my cellular device. Duh? Lol I bet 50 bucks there are no holes to punch in that plan…should’ve been plan A really lol. I hate that plan though…maybe I only hate it because it’s guaranteed to work lol. Nice… real nice, Deena.
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