so today was pretty lame.
well jus this past month or so has been kinda difficult for me i guess...
jus getting over things and moving on type of stuff...
i jus hate wen u want something to work sooo bad that in the end,ur the thing tht makes it unworkable?
its jus frustrating becuz thn ur the one tht takes the longest to heal from the relationship i guess.and it suks tht i effin still reallyr eally really really like this person and i thot they felt the same way and come to find out,their already startin to talk to other ppl.like im not pissed cuz i cant be but im jus aggravated tht he ddnt tell me he moved on lol.but i guess i woulda cried and peed myself if he was jus like "Deena i moved on" but he did lead me on tho.and it hurt my feelings i guess?i dunno...cuz this is def the second time ive gotten myself stuk in break up bs like this...same thing happened w/bd numero dos,
im a pretty strong person wen it comes to relationships but wen i let ish get to my head...it hurts me 10x more thn it would the avg person jus cuz i feel disappointed tht i let my guard down for nothin!!and thn i feel bad for waitin for tht person to tell me they wanted to be with me wen that shish wasn't even bout to happen anytime soon...i always do this crap...but whhyyy if i kno its gonna be the same as the last time??effing estrogen is a bia bia cuz that ish has to be the reason y i keep doing the same thing...it has to be something that im doing subconsciously.so yea...i jus felt the need to vent i guess?haha...
oh and i love my sister lizz...she gave me some advice tht i thot was awkward wen it was in my brain but wen she told me her opinion i realized i wasnt crazy or clingy...jus normal...or similar to her lmao
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